my inner monologue...
site by Andrew Seely
Friday, July 30, 2004
What is your biggest pet-peeve? Leave a comment.
Mine is bad drivers. Ohh how I hate stupid people behind the wheel.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
This job that I'm doing for this week and possibly the next few weeks, if I don't end up going back to Forest Home, I've officially titled myself: Adolescent Management Engineer.
My duties include:
Today I spent most of the day de-bugging a computer from some nasty spyware, mainly some spyware called CoolWebSearch, see here if you are having trouble with your IE and it keeps opening web page search engines on it's own. And this is an indepth article on how to completely remove it. (note that you need some good working knowledge of computers, and note that the article was for the specific person, the steps need to be slightly modified for your own certain situation)
This computer thing gave me an idea. I know if you head out to Best Buy to get anything done to your computer and you don't have a warranty then it cost obscene amounts of money to get even the basic things done to your computer. I think I remember it costing over 30 dollars to install RAM. Let's do a step by step instruction on how to install RAM.
1 Open case, usually removing no more than 4 screws
And then there is software installation or virus removal.
Most of what involves sitting and watching either numbers go speeding higher or a little bar grow longer. Most of the time just sitting there doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Back to today. So as I was fixing this computer I had to run a lot of programs that scanned for various things. Being a little tired, I ended up just setting my phone alarm for increments of 10 min and would wake up and do the next step and then return to sleeping.
If I worked for a real company or for myself then I could be making over 50 bucks an hour to pretty much take a nap.
In conclusion, if you need any computer work I am more than available.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
A really good Strong Bad email. I gave a few audible lol(s).
Monday, July 26, 2004
Sometimes I'm not too sure if I like being a Christian. (I'm not renouncing my faith or anything). But I was watching this documentary about Christians who put on a Halloween thing called the Hell House which depicts how Christians perceive how society affects people's journey towards hell or not.
The evangelical church of America is, in my opinion a good/bad thing. Most of American Christianity is a cursed blessing. We talk so much about unconditional love, but so often do not display it. We are fallen people who sit in a mire of filth. It's hard to examine how our faith is displayed to others. How do we live a pronounced faith that touches people in a real way without compromising what we believe? How do we gracefully and effectively communicate Christ to people without perpetuating the negative view of Christianity that flows through mainstream American culture?
Some of what was depicted in the movie were things that I wish were present in the non-evangelical churches (such as my Presbyterian church), such as the fervent attitude towards prayer and evangelism. Most of the youth in the program were depicted as people who were "on fire" for prayer and telling others about their faith. But I do have to be critical about a number of things I saw. Speaking in tongues. I do not do this, yet I recognize it as a spiritual gift. But most of the theology behind this gift for this church was just the fact that it was an intimate way to purely communicate with God. They neglected to see the need to interpret all these tongues. See 1 Cor 14. Plainly these people, although I would classify them as a "Bible Church" (in Texas nonetheless), did not happen to read that passage or interpret it in the pretty clear statement that Paul is trying to make.
There is something definitely compelling about the Bible church scene. I have been intrigued with many of these churches over the last few years but their often brash or un-rooted traditions are often a turn-off for me. Their ability to hold somewhat "Bible-thumping" doctrines that I often disagree with are not what I am looking for. Though they are able to somehow "produce" people who often display many advanced Christian traits, but they often become very entwined with the certain doctrine of their specific church and then most of what I hear is "my pastor ____ says this or says that" and there is such an alliance towards a single pastor instead of the personhood of Christ. In my opinion church should never be about "my pastor" or possibly even about "my church". Somehow we have strayed away from a unified body of Christ into our denominations and church buildings or even towards single people, instead of the one person who really matters. The Big J C.
Being in ministry I seem to have a constant battle with the dichotomy of staying true to the unbending truth of the Gospel but still being able to relate to the unchurched who live in a culture who perceive Christians under the microscope of speculation. I try hard not to fall into the category of "fanatical" or "hypocritical", but I so want to convey the unwatered down truth of a graceful and loving God.
Quite a predicament.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
THIS is quite amazing.
You might think he's not really getting all the moves, but listen to the voice from the machine, it's saying things that indicate that he is doing a fine job.
Monday, July 19, 2004
A lot has changed in the last week and a few days.
Let's start with last week. I drove up to Sacramento a few days before I was to head out on a houseboat with the Jr. Highers to see my g-pa who was sick.
The fam had him put into hospice since we knew that the time was comming. He was 85 and had been on a bit of a decline for a while, so we knew time was comming.
It was great to see him. It had been a while since I'd had last seen him.
Sunday afternoon I took off to meet up with the kids. And what grace I do not deserve. I was traveling southbound on the 5 about 45 min away and the big yellow bus was traveling northbound on the 5 with about an 8 hour drive and I pull off of the freeway and round the corner and 2 cars ahead no other than the bus. Like a weird math word problem. How crazy. How divine.
The week started off great, did a bit of wakeboarding. So much fun.
Then peril struck. BUGS. Biting. My hands swolen and sore uncapable of holding onto a towrope. How lame. I spent the next few days quite miserable, my body also really sore. I spent most of the days napping and feeling like no fun.
Then Tues came along. Once again feeling miserable I made it through the day and during the evening I recieved a voice message on the phone from my mom. Gramps had died earlier that evening and she was on her way up to Sacramento.
Wed morning I jumped ship and drove back up to be with family. A blessing and a disapointment in one.
It turned out very well, everyone had had their chance to say goodbye and he left more or less on his terms not being in pain and feeling like everything was complete. We had a service on Fri and it was a celebration of a great man. Then I drove back home to LA.
Went to Howl at the Moon at Citi Walk at Universal Studios for Andrej's 31st bday celebration. A fun time but not exactly the Greatest Show on Earth.
I'm at that juncture of my life where I'm trying to figure a lot of things out. Work, money, life calling and such are on the block. Spending all of today sitting around the house doing absolutely nothing was somewhat indicative of how I am feeling about things right now. Wanting more but really unmotivated to do much about it.
If you feel like giving me a kick in the bootay this week feel free to do so when and if you see me around. I do need to find a short term job and get my resume out for some youth ministry jobs too. Prayer would be good.
Friday, July 09, 2004
Well not really. It's more like the 100th episode.
Yes ladies and gentlemen I am completing my 100th post on the good ol blog.
If it weren't for a few lapses of hobo-blogging then I'm sure today's post would be a much higher number and that you would have read this many a weeks ago.
Aside from the Back to the Future esqe time comtimunummm thing going on here, I really don't have much to post about.
I've spent my last few days working at church as the sub-maintenance man, and today it took me almost 2 hours to replace 2 measly sprinkler heads. Stupid sprinklers.
Also this weekend I'm headed off to a weekend camping trip with the High schoolers to the beach, which I will leave prematurely so that I can drive up to Sacramento to see the g-pa since he still isn't doing too well, doing better but it's kinda getting to that point where I don't know how many times I'll get to see him again, kinda thing.
And then on Sunday afternoon I'll meet up with the Jr Highers so that we can go houseboating with Sonshine Ministries on the Sacramento Delta.
So that means...
I'll be a hobo-blogger most of the week, we get back on friday and I'll try and get something up then or by Sat night.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
So I'm sitting here watching VH1's 40 Greatest Reality TV Moments and I'm just shocked how we can be so consumed with such CRAP (for lack of better word). Seriously why in the world can we give a record contract to someone like William Hung. Seriously people.
I think that people have said that the time we live in is like a new "renaissance period". Honestly people. Show me proof that there were celebrity knock-offs of Rembrandt that drew stick figures and became famous. I'm not downgrading some of the great accomplishments of the last few years, but I guess with the good comes the bad.
As I'm writing this I've seen a few of the new McDonald's commercials. Side note see Supersize Me for a interesting look at fast food. And these commercials revolve around the upcoming 2004 Olympics. The first one that I saw showed shots of various people, some training, some just doing various things, but inserted throughout the commercial were shots of the infamous fry boxes that we all recognize. What does fries have to with Olympic athletes????? And I'm sure that they don't ever consume McDonalds unless they are in some self-indulged, self-loathing, life hating, binge of gluttony and debauchery. Then there was the 2nd commercial. It started out more like a Visa commercial, where this youngman was shown walking around the landscape of Athens. The pinnacle was when he was on the phone telling "Joe" that he couldn't have gotten here without him. Lo and behold we find out that the kid is an employee of McDonalds and that "Joe" is his boss. The commercial concludes that McDonald's is sending a few hundred of "it's finest" to serve the "world's finest" in Athens. How craptastic. Illiterate McDonalds's employees serving people who don't speak the same language and basically trying to promote a certain "who knows what" for McDonald's.
I LOVE AMERICAN POP CULTURE
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Today was my last day at Jamba. As exhilarating as that may seem, I'm not quite as happy I'd thought I'd be.
It's not like I'm not happy about not having to go back.
It's this doubt thing.
Not knowing what to do next. Pretty much the think I've been dealing with for the last 7 months. I know I should be able to release all these things into God's hands and live free in the joy that God gives. But the air of doubt has consumed me. It's hard to know that God will ultimately provide everything I need.
Faith has always been one of my strong spiritual gifts, but it has become almost a stumbling point for me at times. How much faith can I have. I don't want to become so passive that I always come to the point that self-motivation can't be part of God's plan. That if I try to hard then I must be thwarting what God really wants to do with me. That somehow I'm overlooking what God wants and supplementing what I think I want.
Can you tell that I feel a bit in a slump today??
I am still hopeful towards the future, hope is another of my gifts, I love to rely on the promises that God is faithful and his plan is far better than we could think of.
It's just a hard place to be when we desire so much and it feels like we are being picked last. I guess it is just somewhat childish to think that what we are missing is what is best, because that is all we see at the moment and seem to want. When the unknown is so often quite better than what is before us.
Monday, July 05, 2004
(for those of you who don't know K-Town is my word for Korea)
Hey check this out. The best part is the music.
Why is the Simpsons the best show ever??
Sunday, July 04, 2004
I'd post them right to the site but they are copyrighted so you have view the pages individually (caution if you have a dial up connection it may take a few seconds for it to load)
hanging out on the beach
get that ball
Dustin taking a beating
Me watching the action
Go Paul Go
Matt surveying the scene
The Blob, this guy did a double back flip
Hear no, see no, speak no
all photos courtesy ephotoservices.com
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Quite a quagmire
Let's just start by saying I NEEDED that.
The frustration and stress had been building up within me so much that I was about ready to pop.
I am still reflecting on the week at camp. So much happened and many lives were touched including mine. This experience at camp for me was not only a confirmation that I need to be in youth ministry but a well placed time of instruction and introspection for myself. I thoroughly enjoyed spending some quality time with the kids and feel that I definitely grew closer to many of the guys and hopefully imparted to them some knowledge of the gospel and didn't distract them from what God had to teach them.
Forest Home is a unique place. I am truly grateful for the staff and thought and planning that goes into the experience of camp.
The current situation of myself being unemployed right now has prompted me to decide to spend some extra time at Forest Home with the high school camp this summer as an in cabin counselor for independent campers. I most likely will be there the first 3 weeks of August. I'm not really sure how this is going to affect me financially, except I know the pay does not equal the bills. I am counting on God to somehow provide the rest for me. He is faithful.
Almost immediately I felt a bond with most of the summer staff at high school camp and in a short week had developed meaningful relationships with some of them. They and myself are eagerly awaiting my return so that our friendships may be developed further.
One excellent thing about this last week was that Angie (the high school director) changed the format of camp, which was in my opinion a very good thing. Most notably she took a tone of discussion and questions rather than a speaking format. This allowed the campers to ask many more questions and spend a significant time discussing ideas and thoughts rather than sitting listening to speaker after speaker. The second most notable change was the removal of a "decision night". Her sediments were that students had come to expect this norm in the middle of the week and she wanted to focus more on a genuine response to the gospel and to Christ than somewhat of a contrived feeling that students often get on decision night.
I spent plenty of time in prayer and in the word which was good since my hetic schedule here at home is not conducive for such a thing. Or maybe my life priorities are not inline with God's. Anyways, the major topic for the week was wrestling with the theme of "The Kingdom of God" (KOG) and how it affects our perception of faith and how we are to live as christians. It challenged my own understanding of the KOG, and forced me to think more indepth about how the KOG affects my daily life and theology. Quite a challenge, even after studying theology.
Overall it was a very encouraging week. The only things left to do are find a temporary job that is going to help me set myself up financially for serving. Stupid bills. And then to prepare myself for the work God is going to do in me while serving at camp. Especially since I'm so incredibly tired after this past week.
On the way home from camp Matt and I had planned on going to our long-time friend's wedding. Albeit we were quite trashed mentally and physically we managed to have a wonderful time and unfortunately had to leave early due to our weariness. One more wedding off the list. I also decided today not to attend my friend Hope's wedding in the middle of August in Spokane for financial reasons. I'm bummed that I can't go, but I think it is the right decision for me right now.
On a side note I guess I forgot to tell my mom that I quit the Jamba, and when I was talking to her today and mentioned how
1 I wanted to work at Forest Home,
2 wasn't going to make enough to pay my bills and
3 how I needed to find a job quick,
let's just say she wasn't the happiest of campers. I guess I get to have a bit of a chat with her in a few days when she gets home. She when up to Sacramento to see my g-pa, who hasn't been doing well (see Prayer You for more information), so she won't be back for a few more days. If you didn't see this before, now would be a good time to help me out.
Well now it's time to rest, if I think of anything else I'll put it up. I'll try and get a few pictures from the week up soon, otherwise I have to find a job and then get ready for the high school beach weekend and then Jr High camp all next (July 11-16) week.