my inner monologue...
site by Andrew Seely
Thursday, December 30, 2004
I bought some fish today. I've been wanting to do this for a while and now I finally have. They are Powder Blue Gouramis. They are technically tropical fish but I don't have the cash to buy one of those water heaters, but they are only living in a gallon and a half of water so I think we'll just keep the house temp a little higher and hopefully I won't kill them off. Otherwise things have been quite boring. I'll try and get something more substantial up later on.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
I just wanted to throw it to you...my blogging family...what would you want me to blog about?
It can be anything, serious, funny, a question, a specific topic, a specific event, more about me, really anything at all, no holds barred.
Just leave a comment.
I'll try and address as many as I can, and I'll give ya all the credit.
Monday, December 27, 2004
So I can't sleep. And it's raining outside.
I went to bed all early, like before 10pm in hopes I would get a full night's sleep and actually be fresh for work.
Maybe it's because my soul is so uneasy with the pain so many others have been facing in the last day and a half, that or, it's the couch I'm sleeping on.
My friend Adam has been posting about this all weekend and I felt it my responsibility to do so as well, but not just in a news sense.
So in case you live under a rock with a internet connection and you only come to my site and stay away from all news media sites, then you have most definately heard about the 9.0 earthquake in Indonesia. Which at this point has killed over 15,000 people (last I checked and will probably will go up over the next few days and weeks). That's about half of the population of Juneau, Alaska.
I just wanted to take time to comment on a few things. In regards to how I think we should be reacting.
It's quite easy for us to distance ourselves from what is going on over there. But I want to really challenge this reading community and those you might be able to affect, to really become deelpy intertwined with the situation. Emotionally connect yourself to these people. Suffer with them, hurt with them, greive with them, help them find hope. No, this is not an easy task and one that probably most of you won't accept.
This past weekend our sermon was called "what the birth of Christ means to me" and 3 people from our congregation shared. This prompted me to begin to think about what it meant to me. I boiled it down to "uncomfortableness". Thinking about the physical situation and circumstances in which Christ was born and lived most of his life and how he died, it was fairly uncomfortable.
It is my belief that we need to live in a relative state of uncomfort. It is quite easy to be comfortable, to be free of strife and pain. Yes God is our comfort but the world we live in is not. I'm beginning to realize in my theology that being interconnected with other's hurt is quite essential to being able to care for others.
Now is that perfect time to experience other's hurt. I posted this in the comments on Adam's blog:
Truly this is a time where we as a Christian community must be able to be the intercessors for a nation that is experiencing great hurt. Are we willing to be intercessors so deeply, that we also suffer a hurt, one that is not our own, so that others may briefly find hope and peace in their midst?
Please find a place for this to affect you. Cry, be sad, feel like shit, be uneasy.
I wish I could say that I hope this doesn't affect my work today, but you know what, I hope it does. Wouldn't it be cool if everyone stopped what they were doing to mourn, except that won't happen because it didn't happen to "us".
It's raining right now, I'm cold, but somehow that seems so much more insignifcant at the moment. My bills, my lonilness, my fears, my worries, the things I have to get done, all seem a little less important now that I have started to really feel the hurt of millions of other people.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Can you do that???
Anyways here's my quote that I've been kicking around, and it's kinda late in its context...for your consideration
"Enjoy the season, because of THE REASON"
Feel free to use it yourself, just make sure to cite your references.
2 other posts below, check em
Friday, December 24, 2004
I know I've been a total hobo-blogger.
There are just sometimes when you need to take a holiday (English word for vacation) and that sometimes includes blogging, though I am sorry I did not announce it to the rest of you. But thank you for continuing to check back awaiting new material.
Right under this post I posted a Audioblog, of one of my favorite x-mas songs that I'm pretty sure none of you have heard unless you lived in LA in 1997 and listened to KROQ and Kevin and Bean more specifically. Just though I'd share that with you all.
It's been a long week of doing pretty much nothing. And it's felt really good. Since I was housesitting there's not much to do in the evening. So I played a lot of videogames and watch a lot of DVD's. Thanks to mom who got me the Band of Brothers DVD, it has provided hours of enjoyment.
Today I had a great day with the Mr. Bill Sperry (I still wish I could link to a blog, but alas). We hit the links, and played (tried our best) a bit of par 3 golf. Then we headed down to the science center near USC to see the Body Worlds exhibit. REALLY FASCINATING. I won't say much more but if you have a chance GO, it's there til Jan 23rd.
I'll be spending tomorrow by myself. I don't need any pity or for you to feel bad. I'm really ok with the situation. It won't be the first x-mas alone. It's actually really nice to spend a peaceful day alone and reflect on the year and such. I once passed up a trip to Hawaii and spent a x-mas by myself.
I'll get to a good long theological post sometime this weekend. (I know I said that last week too but you can hold me to it)
I know it sounds kinda crappy, but I have no way to host media. So you'll have to enjoy.
Song is Christmas Piglet by the Presidents Of the United States of America off of the KROQ, Kevin and Bean Christmas CD from 1997
click Trogdor to play
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Sunday, December 19, 2004
Here's a few pieces of really cool news.
Alexi Murdoch is having a show. Just heard about it today and it's on Tues.
He hasn't played a show in LA for sooooo long so you really should catch this. It probably will be really packed so I suggest getting there really early like 9 or so, the doors don't open til 10, but there will be A LOT of people. So grab a friend and a jacket and hang out, outside for a while.
It's at the Hotel Cafe in LA on 12/21 at 10 pm.
I'll see you there.
Also our friend Jeni Price has a new screen name for AIM it's: chordate4christ
Friday, December 17, 2004
In case you missed this post, here's some updated info.
Yes, I did get a new car. I ended up getting a 2004 Nissan Sentra S
Here are a couple of photos (my car is white and has a spoiler)
I opted for the new car instead of a used on for several reasons.
1 I was NOT a DAEWOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 I was tired of having cars break down. A new car pretty much insures me that it will work for a while.
3 What I paid for my car is only a little more than what this dealership was asking for a used car.
4 According to Kelley Blue Book value, I think I only really paid invoice for this car, so the dealership didn't really make any money on the deal.
5 It's pretty fun to drive.
6 Not really a reason that I got a new car, but a great reason that I now have it. It's a STICK!!!!!! I know, I know, you're thinking "a stick in LA??????". I love stick that much that it doesn't even bother me. I don't know if I want to go back to auto ever again.
Although I now need to find secondary employment or not eat, God is good at providing for me.
The actual story on how I got to get the car is pretty cool. The short version is that they wanted WAYYYYY more than I could afford for the car and somehow they came back with an offer that was like 1/2 of what they originally wanted. God is goooooood. And they gave me 500 bucks for a car that didn't run and had to be towed like 40 miles which if I had to pay for the tow it would have been at least 200 bucks.
So if you want a ride somewhere just let me know. (It'll cost ya though, j/k)
It's been a week since I've gotten it so I thought I'd finally blog about it.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
click Trogdor to play
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Wednesday, December 15, 2004
I was listening to NPR yesterday, as I usually do on my to and from work. But yesterday afternoon I heard this story about the new debate about how science is taught in schools.
The new argument is not the passe debate about creation and evolution. It now centers on evolution and "intelligent design". A few parents are pissed off because their schools are now going to be teaching intelligent design, and they feel this is a backdoor for religion to creep into schools.
The thing that eeks me most about this whole controversy is the fact that these parents are mad because they think that "religion" is being pushed on their kids. They are screaming and screaming for only "one" way to be taught in schools. They seem not to realize that they are being exclusionistic to any other (whether religious or not) view of the formation of the universe.
Personally I don't really care what is taught in schools. I would hope there would be an unbias approach to saying that there are multiple theories in how the universe came to be.
I wonder what these same parents would say if they only taught "one" way of safe sex in schools. Seeing as how there are two different views on that as well, where safe sex, and abstinence is taught, without abstinence being a "religious" institute.
The story goes on to have some guy talk about how intelligent design is not necessarily a religious theme but merely a scientific theme.
What I really think the whole thing boils down to is the fact that these parents don't want to take responsibility for teaching their own children. We rely on schools to do it for us. And when school no longer teaches something that we find "acceptable" then we get all up in a hissy because we want the schools to teach what "we" think is right instead of having to do it ourselves.
I can only hope that I will have been enough of an influence in my kids life, and actively involved enough for them to know what we as a family believe and that we may disagree with what others have to say but we are not going to be closed minded to the whole situation and hopefully we can listen to a different point of view and learn something from others.
Parents, get over it, if you don't like the fact that your kids are learning this or that, be willing to do something about it yourself, teach your kids something. Spend time with them. Don't turn the whole situation into a religion in the schools issue when it is not.
I don't ever think the purpose of religion was to infiltrate the schools and be the ONLY thing taught, it is one of the many views represented in many subjects and should be taught as one of the options, please do not push an attitude that says since I don't like your way, there can only be this ONE other way. The hypocrisy of the whole thing is what really makes me mad.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I just had another one.
I think I like this job aside from the mundane work (I put labels on papers for like 3 hours this morning), for the reason that
I FEEL VALUED
I realized today that in the past few jobs I never really felt valued. I didn't mind the work, I didn't mind the hours, I didn't mind that I worked harder than others.
I thought it was all those things that made me not like the job as much. But it wasn't, it was the fact that my employers never made me feel like I was an integral part of the team (whether or not I was).
Here at this job, I do, do a lot and know far more beyond my job description, even though I do a lot of things to improve my value, I am always complimented on how much I have done, people here take the time to tell me how much they appreciate what I am doing, even if I don't think much of it.
It goes to show what a "thanks, for doing ________" will do for employee morale.
So if you are reading this and you manage any number of employees, please make sure to thank them on a regular basis. Tell them that without them you couldn't do what you do, even though you do far more than they do, appreciate them and show them.
Yes that's what I'll be doing tonight, no not playing patty cake.
I'm so excited, I haven't baked anything for months. I think the last time I made bread was last spring.
I'm not much of a baker in the sorts of pastries or cakes, but I'm beginning to feel comfortable working with breads. They seem to turn out fairly well and I've gotten some good responses from people.
I have a few pot-lucks to go to this week so by the last party I should have them down.
I like pot-lucks, it means I don't have to spend as much on food for the week.
I do really want to go to culinary school, not because I want to cook professionally but because I want to expand my knowledge on how to cook better, there are just a few techniques that I think would be really helpful in knowing how to combine flavors and how to make sure there is variety. And I'd finally get a basic understanding of baking and desserts.
We'll see if that ever happens.
But for tonight it's baking. Maybe I'll call John and we'll watch the Wizard since the girl (Jenny Lewis) from the band Rilo Kiley is in the movie.
Monday, December 13, 2004
If you've read the blog for any amount of time except maybe the last few months then you would have heard me talking a lot about this place I like to go called Room 5. Room 5 is this lounge above the resturaunt Amalfi (it's actually really good, but kinda pricey) and they have live music almost every night of the week.
I usually go on a monday night to see Tyrone Wells, Jay Nash and Mike Barnet. I haven't' been on so long since life has gotten kinda busy and I've been kinda poor. John and I were talking recently and we decided we really need to go again. It's going to make my tues morning kinda hard but it's well worth it. Back in the day (and I mean like a year ago or more recent) we used to stay til midnight or later, til all the guys were packing up and chatting with us.
Take it from me and you can ask John all the guys are real friendly they always walk around a shake hands and than you for coming out to the shows, and they'll even once and a while come and sit with us and chat between sets. It's a lot of fun and something I really miss.
So make sure you at least checkout their websites and give a listen to some of their music, and call me or John if you have a monday night free and we'll take you down.
I'll try and post about the car situation either tonight or tomorrow.
Friday, December 10, 2004
If you missed this post, now's the time to read up, cause IT'S GOING TO COME TRUE!!!!
Last night after working for 15 hours (at least it was overtime) I dropped off one of my co-workers in West LA at a little after 11pm, and about 2 min away from her house on the 10 freeway right before the 405 *poof
Got towed my MEASLY 7 miles by AAA to a shop and left it there over night.
A HUGE thanks to Val for coming and picking me up. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Go down to the shop this morning after battling with little sleep and trying to find transportation for the 30 mile drive from my house to the shop.
A HUGE thanks to Bobby (the roommate) for lending me his car today. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
And then talked to the guy at the shop.
I then drive to work and don't really do anything cause I'm stressing over the vehicle situation.
Finally talked to the guy and it's my timing belt. I've had it happen to me before. But this time...
I'm dead like a seagull in a parking lot in Ohio.
So this weekend will be fun trying to figure out how to get a new car, how to earn a few hundred or thousand dollars over the next like 2 days and try not to cry myself to sleep too much.
Well I'll keep you updated and we'll see what happens.
Otherwise I get to test out that walking theory.
I hope to have a long post tonight about theological things.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
This post is in response to something I saw on Adam's Blog. And about the Emergent Church
You can read the article by Tony Campolo: Here
And Adam's post and comments are: Here
Here's my response to the article found above:
The last thing I want to see is the Emergent movement fade into black. But I also do not want to see it become the contemporary/traditional worship war that split so many of our congregations.
I know that I do not want to divorce myself totally from the mainline, (myself being Presbyterian), I as an emergent want to find, not necessarily a balance, but a transformation, of the old (pre postmodern) and the postmodern, into what we are building as the Emergent.
The question still lingers, is That possible? Or must we shake off the dust of the past and forge a schism, allowing us to move forward to what we see is a current theology of Christ and Culture?
I lean heavily towards wanting to stay part of the Presbyterian church. I do not want to abandon and jump ship, I love the parts that are rooted in tradition and I dislike the parts that are rooted in tradition. But I have hope that reformation can come from within.
Then again I have to take the example of Luther and see that inner reformation is sometimes not possible. I know one pattern I do not want to see the church fall into is a pattern of constant schism, have we learned nothing of the transforming power of Christ. Or is it that we as an institutionalized church have become impenetrable to the transformation of Christ? Have we built up the walls of the temple in efforts to contain God but inadvertently we have shielded him outside? Not because we wanted to, but because we failed to see that he was working outside of our walls and we had become to ego-centric and lost sight of our true purpose: to stand alongside of a God who is transforming lives in the least likely of places. Instead of what we claimed as the most likely: the inside of Church walls.
I do not claim to know no much and there are far more people smarter than I. There are a lot more people who have been thinking about the emergent church far longer than I. And as much as Id like to become a prominent figure in the development of the emergent church, I know this should not be my aim.
I am here to contribute and hopefully raise discussion and most importantly to learn. Not only about how to better minister to people, but learn how to love the Christ that unconditionally loves me.
I have come to enjoy the occasional stroll. Have a job in a small community where there are a lot of people who walk is nice. Since I work in Brentwood, there are a lot of little shops and restaurants and all us business types all have to eat, so at around lunchtime you can often see many people strolling up and down the street either going to eat or returning to work, or even the people who have too much money and just walk around shopping all day or sitting at Coffee Bean sipping on their drink.
I really do like this concept of walking to all the places you have to get to.
Don't get me wrong I LOVE driving and I LOVE my car, well..I don't LOVE my car (since it's a piece of crap) but I LOVE the fact that I have a car, especially since I live in LA.
I would really like to live in a small city in Europe where you can walk everywhere you need to go, quite impossible here in LA. Though I have known a few extraordinary people who didn't or don't have cars, which is quite a feat, but they still had to rely on them in some form to get around.
It may be the sense of community or the atmosphere that is created when you see people on the street not being rushed or hurried to get everywhere or it could be the fact that you are outside on a nice day, but it appeals to me.
Walking everywhere would make planning a head a little more necessary, while I relish the thought of having to give up sleep to make sure I left with enough time to get somewhere, I think it would be nice not to have to rely on gas and cars and speed in our daily lives.
I don't know, it's something to think about.
Leave some comments.
And since this is the 2nd post of the day, be sure to read the one below too.
Thinking about need for change and a need for transparency, I've always wanted to create a place where people feel free to lay down their worries and joys and hopes for others to lift up in prayer, kinda like the wailing wall. I've had a comment section up on the blog for a while now called Prayer requests and I decided to change the name of it to FREE PRAYER. I was reflecting on my time in San Francisco with YWAM (youth with a mission) and some of the obstacles that I faced while doing ministry. People were turned off about "talking about Jesus or faith" but people seemed very receptive to Prayer, either praying with them or for them. I think the idea of FREE PRAYER should be a place where people can come and not only leave prayer requests but also come to find people to pray for.
The link is on the left, please use it often and check back often and pray for others.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
There are a lot of new things to talk about.
1 The overall look of the blog is still in transition, I have a few more things I'm going to do, so keep checking over the next few days. (keep leaving the comments)
2 I submitted my blog to www.emergingchurch.info, so expect to see some more theological minded posts. (and hopefully the hit counter go up)
3 Kelsey Lee has a BLOG, give her some lovin.
4 New Ghetto Blog
Monday, December 06, 2004
I've been thinking a lot about debt lately. Not just necessarily my own (which seems like the equal to a small country), but about how the world/nation functions on this principal.
Maybe it's just because the whole concept eludes me or maybe I'm just not smart enough.
I continue to hear stories on the radio or on the news about either the government, city, state, other countries or whomever are always X million, billion or trillion dollars in debt.
I have always worked under the principal of if you don't have it then how can you spend it. I understand personal debt. But when we get to talking about the TRILLIONS of dollars that our country is now in debt, it boggles my mind. How can we operate??? Don't things cease to work when we can no longer pay people to do their jobs??? How can we continue to pass spending bills when we have no way of ever paying them back? How can the city of LA, one minute be in the hole and then today I hear about a surplus???
Does the government need a basic lesson on how to balance their checkbook?
And how can we lord over other countries who owe us money when we are in an exponentially greater amount of debt than they are???
I haven't really thought this all the way through, and now I'm just writing for writings sake, so I'll leave it at that and you can comment if you wish.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
THE NEW TEMPLATE
A huge thanks to my roommate Carlos, because I'm too much of a B00N to have been able to do this myself.
Tell me what you think.
I did create this template all myself, you cannot find it on the web. I ended up using Dreamweaver from Macromedia.
I'm working on the new look for the page this weekend. Hopefully I will have it up and running by monday morning for all of you. We'll see. I'm really excited about this.
Friday, December 03, 2004
I was thinking at work (seems to have become a common theme) and I realized why I do not really like my current job. Or have lack of motivation to do my best or be really productive.
I've boiled it down to the fact that this job is not really stressful.
I seem to need a certain level of stress in my workplace to keep me motivated and wanting to stay productive. The environment here is very lax and work at your own pace. I do not have deadlines or customers to service, therefore I sit and wonder why I am here. Yes, I do realize that the work I do does help other people and contribute to the overall production of the dept. But I find it hard to be self disciplined and motivated when I really have no stake in the whole process.
I know I am fully capable of doing things on my own or even being motivated to complete my own projects, but here, it seems like pretty much the same day in and day out, pushing papers and files back and forth.
Then there's the intellectual aspect. (Read Matt's Blog about surroundings) I feel very set apart from the people I work with. Not that I'm being an elitist, nor do the people I work with not have degrees, but it seems the level of conversation so often turns to pop culture or very trite things or office gossip. And I really do not want to be a part of that. I don't want to be the guy who sits in the corner and says nothing and everyone is afraid that one day he'll snap and go postal on the place, but at the same time, it is very hard to feign interest in things that you would rather have nothing to do with.
This is why I love working at a church. There are always people to discuss issues with, issues with substance and depth. People to bounce ideas off of that I have, that are more than what crappy TV show to watch on FOX.
I need a certain level of stress to function, sadly this has become my reality. As Ryan pointed out in his post about African life, I am a fast paced American. Who needs stress. (aside from the stress generated from the commute, oh the bane of my existence right now)
Thursday, December 02, 2004
We have 2 new bloggers as of this week.
Give em some blogger love, and encourage them to post!!!
NO HOBO-BLOGGERS ALLOWED
With all this work, I really miss hanging out with my friends. I just get so tired that all I want to do is sit at home and not do anything. Luckily I have my roommates to hang with.
I just don't get out of the house as much, and I think it's starting to affect me. Though my bed time should be like 10 or 10:30 every night so I can make it up the next day.
I just feel tired all the time. I think I should go and see a doc since I have coverage now.
Call me to hang out. I have fri and sat nights open. I miss ya all.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Why I didn't know about this sooner kinda pisses me off. For more than one reason, probably since Fox doesn't announce these things well and it usually takes me walking through a store to find out.
But I am proud to announce that Season 5 of the Simpsons will be released on Dec 21st!!!!! (and I think, if my memory recalls right, I called the box color as red a while back)
A few other DVDs I'm excited about:
Lord of the Ring: Return of the King (extended version) and possibly the whole trilogy set
24 seasons 2 & 3
The Matrix Trilogy Box Set
and I'm sure there are a lot more things that I want but probably won't get as well.
What are you looking forward to?
Seriously when will we get to see the commercial production of flying cars like in Back to the Future 2? In that movie it was 2015 and they had them, that's not too far off.
I hate traffic.
Or will we be doomed to regulated "skyways" that will be just as backed up, negating the whole fact that we can hover above the mire and stress of roads??
And the space time continuum.
check out Rachel Yamagata. I really like her song River, you can hear it on KCRW usually during Morning Becomes Eclectic between 9-12 on 89.9(listen online) in LA