my inner monologue...
site by Andrew Seely
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
j/am stands for jim and pam (i just made that up)
previous office blog of mine
At this time tomorrow night I will be sitting with Amy and Justin Souza, watching THE OFFICE season 4 premiere. I finished up season 3 dvds (but have yet to watch the commentaries)(yes I'm a geek), but Amy and Justin have had my dvds so they could catch up since they had not seen all of season 3.
So if you have plans for tomorrow night Sept 27th at 9p est/cst/mst/pst then cancel them and tune into NBC for the HOUR long season premiere.
You are welcome NBC for the free advertising, if you want to shoot some ad revenue this way, I will in no way object. Or even just a day on the set would be cool.
nbc the+office season+4
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
A public thanks to the few key people (you know who you are) for the myspace messages, internet (and regular) phone calls and hang out time over the last few days.
I know for a fact that God created friendship directly out of love.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
I really want to heal...
but it just seems to be getting harder and harder...
like a wound that keeps getting opened up...
the blood flowing down, reminding me of that searing pain...
even those who want to aid, have little they can do...
lord, hear my prayer
help me find some peace
some more of your love
i do not wish to weep anymore
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
I've started the Mother Teresa book, Come Be My Light, though I am not sure that I want to continue.
I've made it through the preface and the introduction.
I know these were letters that she never intended to be read by others, I even know she had a deep desire for them to be destroyed altogether.
I am having a moment of question, of feeling like a kid who's gone snooping through the house looking for/at things that he shouldn't be looking at.
I will more than likely press on and read the book.
But for now there is a strong sense of respect for this woman, whom I hardly know and desire to know greater, for she was grace in flesh. And in a way I do not want to tarnish the relationship I hope to have with her and her wisdom and her sheer connection to God, as throughout the years I read and learn from her life.
So that is where I stand. I think I'm going to take a few days before I venture any further.
Friday, September 14, 2007
...under a tree
while we may think we are a civilized society, deep seeded thoughts and biases will remain, they will sink deeper underground and appear to be dormant, only lying in wait
watch the video then go to this website and sign the petition please
update 9:02p 9/15
Some progess is being made. Hopefully things will continue to work out well. Read this article.
racism jena, la jena+6 jena+six justice injustice
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Welcome to the world. I will do my best to be a friend to your parents, and to help you grown in the love of God.
Congrats Matt and Jeni.
Matt+Price Jeni+Price baby Hosea+Bruce+Price
Thanks to Matt and Jeni, who I first heard about this from, I now own BATTLELORE!!!
And hereby continue to claim my geekness.
Battlelore is a board game. And I am taking it a step further, mostly due to matt's idea, and I'm going to paint all these little characters.
I figured I really didn't have a hobby, and this would be a nice little project for the next few weeks. I have decided to learn how to play, but not play the game until I have completed my project.
I did make a choice to support local business, I think I could have saved a substantial amount on the game if I got it online, but I wanted to make sure I supported this local game store which I really like. And for my art supplies, I started at this place (and ended up with a few brushes), but looks like I will have to go to this place to get the paints.
battlelore board+game hobby
Monday, September 10, 2007
Here are three things that I got recently.
Just thought I'd share it with all of you. Why? Cause I think they are great and thought you should know too. Click on any of the pics for the amazon page.
I've like Rilo Kiley really ever since I heard them. They continue to be a great band that produces some great music. The front woman, had a great solo debut with her own album Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins, Rabbit Fur Coat. But with this latest release she really takes helm of the band and leads them down a rock/pop laced album with tones of country and gospel, as she ponders life and love. Check it out. I think it's only 9.99 over at iTunes. They are playing a show down in Santa Monica come Oct, I think I might have to take a gander.
Scot McKnight, (jesuscreed.org) is a man who I highly respect. He teaches at North Park University and I look forward to meeting him one day. A Community Called Atonement is his latest book and is published by abingdon press with emergent village, and is part of a series edited by Tony Jones. I was sent a preview copy and will be posting my thoughts about the book when I get done with it. As part of the series, they've asked big wig theologians and PhDs and such to write non-academic books on deep theological subjects, I'm sure this book will be accessible and thought provoking. Especially since the series is called "Living Theology". More on this later.
You probably have at least heard about this last book, or at least I hope you have. I was going to post some thoughts about it when I first heard that it was coming out, and I know that Ryan did post some interesting thoughts about the articles, here. There has been a lot of "talk" and controversy surrounding this book. It is a compilation of letters that Mother Teresa wrote over the course of 60+ years. She had asked that at the time of her death they be destroyed. They are letters of doubt and faith and struggle. There is speculation that some of the letters even imply that by they end of her life she had given up on her faith and had abandoned God, although she continued her work. I'm not sure what to think, until I examine the letters myself. Each letter has commentary by the book's editor. If anything I do not think this will tarnish the limited understanding that I have of this woman. I still have lots to learn from her work and sheer devotion to the attitudes and values of Christ. I wish I knew Shane Claiborne better, I wonder what he has to say about this, since he did spend a significant amount of time actually working with her in Calcutta. So Shane if you happen to read this (or someone who knows Shane better than I), I would love to hear your thoughts about this. I will post more about this once I get the opportunity to finish the book.
Well that sums up some new items that I picked up.
What are the things that you are excited about? Leave some comment love.
Rilo+Kiley Under+the+Blacklight Scot+McKnight A+Community+Called+Atonement Mother+Teresa Come+Be+My+Light
Sunday, September 09, 2007
My friend is taking a vacation. I hope they will travel well and see and do much.
I hope they return safely. And mostly, I hope they will return soon.
Goodbye my friend...for now.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Well I fell victim to the impluse buy today. I went in for the office season 3 on DVD and walked out with the office season 3 - welcome aboard kit - gift set.
It was only 10 bucks more and now I have my own Dwight bobble head and my very own DUNDIE!!!! (comment contest, what is the fictional reason that I got a dundie?)
So why the heck not?
Well here are some pics of the opening. (as always click for larger)
Here you go just in case you have an itchin to hear it.
the+office dvd season+3 collectors+box
Monday, September 03, 2007
PREFACE: I started writing this almost 2 months ago as I pondered what it meant to be in a relationship and how that was connected to singleness and faith and my own understanding of myself. I have thought about whether or not to even post this, but in the name of candidness and the value of sharing my thoughts, I have decided to include it.
Please note that these were unfinished thoughts that I am now finishing with a completely different perspective. In the main post where it changes from regular text to italicized text is where I have picked up my thoughts. I'm not even sure if any of this will even make sense or be worth reading, as being post-relationship I am in a new mode of trying to understand myself and my understanding of relationships in general.
PS this post probably should be re-titled 1-->2-->1
In the past I have written some about the single life and how that fits into a christian perspective.
So I figured it would only be proper for me to delve into the world of relationships, since now, I am in one.
But more specifically the transition from being single into being in a relationship.
Let's just say I wasn't prepared for this. Like many of my past relationships, I finally ended up in a relationship at that period where I wasn't looking for one. It always seems to happen that way (at least for me), where you go through long stretches of looking and wanting, and not finding anyone, then all of a sudden you get caught off guard and something wonderful happens.
God is good that way.
Back to being unprepared. Leading up to the start, I had become fairly accustomed to living the single life. Even though I wined and moaned about how much I longed for a relationship, I had it pretty good. My time was my own, I was only concerned about my own needs and desires and could go and do anything I wished. Not to say that I am complaining about the current situation, but I am merely stating things that I have come to realize.
In many ways I was not ready to restructure a majority of my life around a relationship. Since I did not have the experience of past relationships, I really lacked the insight to know exactly what I was getting myself into. I understood that there would be things that I must give up and that it would require me to be self sacrificing, but I did not anticipate how much of an effort all of this would take.
Also I was not prepared to be vulnerable. I had thought of myself as a fairly vulnerable person, capable of sharing myself and my thoughts. Within a relationship, it becomes far more imperative that my level of vulnerability, no matter how great I think it was, needs to be complete and unabashed.
In the past few months I had to come face to face with who I really am, not only as a person who's actions and desires now affect another person, but I have had to come face to face with myself as an individual. Getting to know yourself completely has only become more complex, since I am now faced with the situation where I need to fully know who I am so that I may be able to fully express what I am thinking and feeling. In the midst of having to fully disclose myself to another person in a new and intriguing way.
NOTE (I will continue to write in the first person present tense as to maintain a bit of style and continuity, even though now I mainly will be referring to things in the past.)
If anything being in a relationship has forced me more to come to grips with who I really am. Who I was. And who I want to be. I think these things are good things. Maybe not things that I was actively looking forward to working on, but things that I guess one day or another would have to be addressed if I wanted to be a suitable mate for someone someday. Things that I will have to continue to work on for the rest of my life.
I guess if anything now, I get to figure out where all this relationship stuff has left me. In a lot of ways, during the relationship I started thinking forward for how my decisions were not completely my own anymore, but now it seems that even my future decisions are still being shaped by the past few months, even though there is one critical piece missing. I guess what I am trying to articulate is that I am not ready to move forward completely unattached from what has transpired over the last few months.
The problem with how I approach relationships (and maybe it's my fault and maybe it's not) is that I play for keeps. Maybe I need to be more cautious about how I approach even the possibility of a relationship, or maybe it's just that with this one I was so comfortable, and didn't have a wall of caution of getting too close that I needed to break down. All of this is just me writing as I try to understand this side of me. If it's any insight or insightful then good for you reading this.
Hopefully I can look back on this and gain something. It's probably still too soon. And maybe the lessons learned will not manifest themselves until quite some time.
Ok I think that's it. I've started and stopped this post 5+ times. I have come to the conclusion that I am still not in a place to fully form my thoughts. I will post this as it is. For whatever it is worth. It is not a reflection on Kelsey or meant in any way to put her in a negative context. I still hold her in the highest regards and consider her one amazing friend. If anything this post is meant to hopefully shed some light into my understanding of relationships or lack thereof.
If I come up with anything else I will post it for you.
I'm sure this is not the last post I will have in regards to relationships, either mine or general comments.
Take it for what it's worth, and at this point I'm still trying to decide what that is.
Andrew+Seely relationships personal faith single singleness